“Om namah shivaya. As a mantra to invoke a sense of awakening, respect and honour for one’s self, these are powerful words.”
As I lay in bed, a tissue crumpled in my hand, breathing shallowly through my mouth and wishing away the congestion in my sinuses, a thought flitted through my mind: “I just want to feel good.”
This is a meaningful phrase for me. When I was recovering from broken ribs and a year in which I had sustained a concussion, endured serious insomnia and fell victim to multiple flus and viruses, I felt broken. I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt at home in my body and as I reached out to a friend who ran Beachbody challenge groups, I told her “I just want to feel good again.”
That motivated me for several months. “I just want to feel good” became my reason for committing to an exercise program, my deal-breaker consideration when faced with unhealthy options, my “why” for resolving to work on all aspects of my mental, emotional and physical health.
And it worked! I got healthier, I felt stronger, I wasn’t sick all the time, I gained control of my insomnia (most of the time), I took courses in nutrition and I learned strategies to work on the other areas of my life. But as I continued to learn and grow, I also began to take my health for granted.
I’ve always had a weak immune system, it seems. I’m not sure if this is truth or something that I’ve incorporated into part of my being through the stories we tell ourselves (“Hi, I’m Susan, and I’ll get sick if you sneeze in my general vicinity”). Regardless, it was truth because I believed it and I did regularly get sick every few months with whatever virus was going around the office or my social group.
So to not have to deal with the sniffles for a year was a pretty big deal for me.
It took lying in bed for a few days and a cough that is still lingering to remind me that health is precious and not something to be taken for granted.
Over the past few months, I’ve faltered a little on my nutrition commitment. I’m not sure why but I’ve been indulging a lot more in junk food than I used to, and I’ve had trouble trying to motivate myself to find my triggers and start working on rebuilding those healthier habits. I’m wondering now whether the two – too much junk food and my recent illness – are connected. Did I let my body get run down, even a little, and did that make me more susceptible when the germs crossed my path?
I don’t know.
I realize that a cold isn’t the end of the world. There are plenty of people out there who face greater trials and whose illnesses, unlike mine, won’t heal.
My point is that it took catching a cold to make me realize I’ve been taking my health for granted.
And – mid-sneeze – I had a moment of gratitude for that reminder.
Today I had to give myself a little reality check.
I’m nearing the end of Beachbody’s Summer Strong Challenge, and one of the requirements to participate is to submit before and after pictures. This is quite common with Beachbody programs and as a coach, I encourage the use of pictures because they quite often show results that a scale doesn’t measure. I also think pictures can encourage us to focus on the things we love about our bodies and to view them as a source of pride as we recognize the results of our hard work.
However, this morning, when I took my Day 48 pictures and put them side-by-side with my before pictures, I wasn’t happy with the results. In fact, there’s hardly any difference at all.
To say I was disappointed and discouraged is an understatement. I texted my sister with a woe-is-me attitude, lamenting that I’m not seeing results in the pictures.
But in between pep talks from her, I also started giving myself a little talking to.
First, the reality: I’ve been doing really good with the workouts and regaining physical activity but I haven’t stuck to the meal plan 100 per cent. With my coaching group, we encourage living by the 80/20 rule, meaning that 80 per cent of the time you follow the meal plan 100 per cent. The remaining 20 per cent is for those times when we want or need to treat ourselves or indulge a little.
My 80/20 has been more like 65-70/35-30.
I have a sweet tooth, which I’ve complained about publicly on Facebook, and it’s gotten the better of me sometimes. And while I don’t keep junk food in my house, it’s often at work. Sometimes it’s hard to resist; other times I make the healthy decision.
So nutrition is something that I need to continue working on.
Here’s some more reality:
The point of this post is really to reiterate something that I tell my clients all the
time: fitness can’t be measured by just one tool, and neither can progress. Whether it’s the scale or measurements or pictures, taken alone, they only tell one part of the story. And a story isn’t complete without all those other details.
I am a work in progress. My body, my fitness, my mental health and my emotional health – I take them all together as my why (my reason for making health and fitness as a priority), which is total health. It’s what I strive for every day so that every part of me is working towards being the healthiest and happiest that I can be.
These pictures show one aspect of that. I’m not where I want to be but I’m getting there. And working towards that feels good.
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is start.
I’ve been putting off resuming a full fitness routine for about two weeks. Although I was purposely taking it easy to ensure I am fully recovered from my concussion, I also started using it as an excuse.
The truth is that I was scared. You know why? Because I knew the first week was going to be really hard, and I knew it was going to hurt.
How ridiculous is that? To not do something you really want to do because it’s hard?
I’ve never been one to let fear hold me back for long so on Monday, I put on my big girl pants and began. I’m now four days into daily workouts and cold turkey on the sweets and chocolate. With a bit of work, dedication and luck, I hope I’m on my way to getting back into shape so I can resume my active lifestyle in the near future.
In a way, I’m lucky. I’ve had LOTS of practice at starting over (after two concussions and three broken ribs in 1.5 years, I should be an expert by now). And while I’m not glad that I endured these injuries, I have taken some positive lessons away from the experiences.
Here, in no particular order, are my tips to help you get started with whatever it is you want to do.
I am slowly but surely turning myself into a person who enjoys morning workouts, something I once refused to consider as a possibility.
Getting started really is the hardest part. But already, after only four days, I’m feeling back into the swing of a healthy routine that includes daily workouts. That’s not to say I won’t have bad days or stumble occasionally. I definitely will. But when I do, I’ll remember these tips and use them to help me start again.
What are your best tips for getting started? Leave them in the comments below.
I promised myself when I started writing this blog that I would always be honest.
So far I’ve been able to do that while focusing primarily on aspects of my life that I’ve had time to reflect on and for the most part, deal with and move past.
This post is a little different.
I’ve got a list of dozens of topics I want to write about but they all feel dishonest because at the moment, I‘m in a pretty bad place known as Week Five of Concussion No. 2.
I started 2016 full of inspiration and excitement. I had started a new business venture that I believe in and know I can do well at given some time. I was on my way to being in the best shape of my life. I hadn’t been sick in months due to a renewed focus on my health and improved nutrition. I was feeling pretty darn good about life.
But then I made a split-second stupid decision and wound up with my second concussion in a year. The first one lasted a month. Now into week five, there is no end in sight.
Instead of daily workouts and getting stronger, I’m faced with deciding whether I’m up to walking my dogs each day. I did well on the nutritional front for the first month – still cooking, meal planning and staying focused – but I’m increasingly losing the will. Instead of feeling inspired, I feel isolated and withdrawn.
Physically, concussions are not fun. Mentally, they’re even worse. My brain is injured and I can’t tell whether it’s the injury that has me teetering on the edge or if it’s the cumulative impact of a lack of exercise and social life.
After five weeks, I’m also beginning to consider whether some tough decisions are ahead of me much sooner than I wanted or anticipated. Will I be physically too far behind my team to rejoin them when this finally does go away? Will I have to give up sports? Even the thought of this is devastating to me. I love sports. It’s a huge part of how I define myself and comprises the majority of my social life. But what happens if I don’t stop and I get another concussion? How will that impact my life, my ability to earn a livelihood and my physical and mental health?
There is no way of knowing the answers to these questions for sure but right now I have nothing else to do but ponder them while feeling like I’m going to throw up.
Did I mention that concussions aren’t fun?
So that’s my honest post about what’s going on with me. I really didn’t need another reminder of how quickly life can change – or maybe I did to keep me from making another stupid split-second decision in the future.
Do you have any tips for managing concussion (or other long-term injury) recovery? Share them in the comments!